Seventeen; I want winter to come

No srsly.

I miss winter.

i'd be happy with even just.. fall
I miss being able to curl up under a blanket
wearing sweaters and hoodies.
hot liquids
.. not feeling like i'm going to melt.

Oh, fall and winter. Come soon this year, please.

It just randomly got really windy, then it poured
and now it's all sunny again

Hello bipolar BC weather, how are you today?

I'm up at like 7 tomorrow to go help someone move at 8:30

apparently our family friend wants to get my brother and i plastered?
yea, that.

Nope, now that i think about it

I'll stick with fall

winter is suppose to get to the low of -40 celcius or some fancy shit.

Oh dear.

Now that we're going to MBS we can actually get snow days

no transformer/generator do hicky

yay?

My book is getting depressing.

nearly made me cry. Nearly.

Oh, The Buried Life facebok status thing cracked me up

"I wish my first word could have been quote so that before i die i could have said end quote"

I just pissed off a 23 year old, for picking on his grammar?

mk.
Wimp can't handle a fifteen year old picking on him.

Jokingly.

oook

Sixteen; Well, this isn't looking good.

I think i'm falling back into a depression
or i'm having hardcore anxiety problems, again.

I've been in a real pissy mood lately.

No friends, it's not that lovely time of the month.

FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKKK

I was Brandon's body guard today, pratically.
People want to beat the shit out of him for a lie his ex-girlfriend made up.

WHOO.
I asked if he honestly thought a 5'3 girl could protect him
he said that people tend not to hit him when girls are around.

Ok.

I want to cry

I want to scream

I want to have fun

I want to meet someone that cares.

Honestly Cares.

Not that "i care, really." "Lawl guess what she did!" kind of dealio.
Is it so much to ask to be loved?

to have someone i can talk to?

Grah.

I mean, ihave internet people, that i can..

sort of

but i mean in person

NOPE

IMPOSSIBLE.

I'm reading a book called "Remember Me" Three books in one

By Christopher Pike or whatever his name is

i'm on chapter four or so

Pretty cool, so far.

Huge ass storm ripped through town the other day.

like HUGE
Lots of houses and buisnesses/buildings are flooded
i'm afraid to check out basement..

Damn mothes should go find another light, that's not my computer screen.

Fifteen; Ok, don't post. that's cool.

I went and hung out with Bradie and Lane (and Kiersten, for all of like.. an hour maybe)
LOADS of fun.

We stayed at Lane's till 3am.

I wasn't suppose to go sleep over at Bradie's house, but her mom gave in.

We called people between 2-3
people are seriously stupid. SHUT YOUR PHONES OFF.
if you know cruel people such as our selves.

Next day we went back to Lane's, hung out there for awhile
then walked to mcdonalds spent like an hour or two there
started walking back, but then we sat down on a bike road and waved at cars driving by.
105 people made some form of notion towards our waving.

3 gave us the middle finger
5 honks
the rest waves
prettttyy good.

then we walked back to Bradie's, i got my stuff and left
got home, called my mom
She was pissed that i didn't call her to tell her i was going to be spending the rest of the day with Bradie.
Fuck, Corban never calls and never gets in shit
i see how it is.
(i'm the loved one)
then the next day mom got all pissy with me again
i didn't talk to her till like
12 today
civily, without my "yea whatever" voice.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO TODAY
we spent it at the river
where water from the Kootenay lake and ... some other one mix
i rolled around in the mud like a pig.

go me?

burnt my arm i think.
mhm.

then we got home after hanging out there
life went on
6:30-8 rolled around
And i dozed in and out of conscious ness on the couch
i couldn't sleep last night
i normally don't take naps
i must have been REAL tired.

fourteen; I feel like i'm missing something, something big.

I have no clue as to what it is, though.

I'm still scared for my dog

We went to the lake today, it's October fest so there was A LOT of early-mid 20 year old people there. One guy kept grinning at me. He seemed like a really sweet guy, even though i hardly spoke with him. Aw well.

As it turns out, i was thinking of the wrong grandma.
I could wear black to the funeral!

so i did

and..

for the record

i felt very over dressed.

Maybe i'm just overly emotional today..

yea

maybe it was the heat too

since i'm burnt again..

lets just hope that it's that..

thirteen; To be honest.

I'm horrified.

I'm horrified of my dog dying

It scares me

she's going to bed really early

and becoming more and more tired

i want to cry everynight when she goes into her bed and i go to mine

i want to keep her with me, so she doesn't die alone.

I'm scared.

GRAH

tomorrow at two is Kylan's grandma's funeral.

since they're of a.. different.. origin, per say, i don't know if i should wear all black or not.

I'm going to anyway, i hope i don't offend anyone.

I have a few all black outfits i could wear

but all of them look more like.. Party outfits, not a funeral

lace kind of shirt and a black skirt.

Hope it will do.

I'm scared for my dog

i'm scared for my mom

i'm scared for my grandma

i'm scared for my life

i'm scared for my house

i'm just down right scared.

Why can't i worry about things that a normal teenager has to worry about?

Like whether or not my boyfriend is going to break up with me

or if i'm going to have enough minutes/texts

I'm so scared.

twelve; What do you tell an eight year old?

I asked Breanna if she'd like to talk to grandma because she'd love to say goodnight.

She was crying, saying she missed dad.

What do i say? "Do you think you can talk to her, she'd love to talk to you"

she shook her head.
FUCKING BAD SISTER, am i.

i came downstairs to continue talking to grandma, who was suppose to hang up like a half hour prior. AT LEAST

i should be up there with her. Ugh.

Some guy came and threatened Petite, asshat.
he pissed me off soo much!
i mean he's a stupid fucking ass
grahhhh

Going to the lake tomorrow, i'm pretty sure.

Wayne's son is here, Kaylin (how ever it's spelled), weird guy.

Eleven; First day of Summer School!

And i nearly got one unit finished! WHOO!
I'm going to class with this guy mom works with, who, for the record, she doesn't like.
Wonder if he'll reconize me..

I don't like getting up early to get ready for school.. in the summer.. i mean, it's so.. annoying!
NOTE TO SELF: Always eat before going to class. You get very hungry when you don't eat.
I'm going to look into a bus pass; cut my travle time in half, i'm sure.

Kylan's grandma ended up dying. May she RIP
We were told we were wanted at the funeral.
I have no problem with that, and i would be delighted to show my respects for such a wonderful woman.