Fifty nine; it's not like I do it on purpose..

My mom is mad at me.
Why?
Because once again I have to stay home.
I texted her this morning asking if I could stay home, she said no and that I had to at least try.
I go downstairs, in tears. I can't go to school like that.
And all she says is "fuck, fine stay home. But no hiding upstairs you have to stay down here and keep the dog company. "
I'm sorry that I have problems.
I'm sorry that school is being effected by it.
I'm sorry I can't help it.
I'm sorry I need to go see a counselor again..
I'm sorry.. It isn't my fault.
I didn't want it.
I want to go to school.
I want to see my friends.
I want my only worries to be about tests.
I'M SORRYYY!
But whatever.
My friends are already mad at me for missing so much, why can't my family be too?
Why not make it a big thing of "Hate On Meranda"
Sounds like it has already started.

So where am I right now?
Upstairs. In my room.
I don't want to be down there.
I just want to lay in bed and cry.
I don't want to lay downstairs and watch tv with my dog.
I love her, a lot. But I really want to be myself.

I'm sorry...