Forty Six; But sweetheart, I'm not that strong.

No, i'm not.

I'm not ready to lose both of my parents before I'm eighteen.

So mom has been having these signs that all point to a heart attack

i've been sooo scared lately that I'm going to lose her.

So far so good. She nearly had to go to the hospital a few times.

She goes to see the doctor on monday.

phew.

please let her be ok.

Joe and i haven't spoken in a few weeks.

Not sure what's up, but I'm ok with this.

Ya know?

For once I'm not freaking out. It's nice.

I've been invited to a Hotdog Roast at Idle Wild.

Lakisha's practicum invited me. I'm pretty stoked.

I invited Sam.

We might meet some people!

Maybe even guys.

Veronica did some stupid shit awhile ago, not sure if i told you about it.

I don't feel like enlightening you right now, if i didn't.

Not sure if i told you that i no longer see Scott, and Lakisha is trying to make it so i don't have to see her anymore.

Not sure how i feel about this.

I mean i guess it's good.. but i feel no change that they have done.

I mean, my life itself has changed. They haven't taught me anything to change.. how i react to things.

i'm pretty tired.

But i don't want to go to bed.

I'm listening to old music, ahh. The Memories.

I'm Omegeling this night up, yo.

Not much else to do..

SO

yea

um

right..

that's about it for now, even though it's been over a month..

my life is pretty damn boring, dudes.