Thirty Six; DONE MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!

kinda.
Nearly.
I have to buy the neighbour something, my brother something and my dog something.
Breanna got things for her hair (Whooo 5 for 10$ at Ardenes!)
Mom got:
Tiger gloves, since the moose ones were gone.
Sadness.
Some chocolate,
A book she asked for
those two snoopy things
and yea i think that's it.
It's actually a lot more than it sounds.

Got up at 9, left at 10 for Christmas shopping.
Then Corban was all gung ho to walk home.
Fucker.
It was cold!

I finished my book.
Sadness
I need to get the second one!

I'm currently on Omegle.
Fuck my life they're boring on a Saturday afternoon.

Pretty stoked for Christmas.
I can't wait to see my mom's face when she opens it up!

I want to write.
Write an amazing story.
Maybe i'll go see what the b-b- i forget the word..
Bursery?
Theme is on the college's website and write something along that line.
Yea, maybe i'll do that.

Thirty Five; I had my first counselling session on Wednesday.

Yea, so.
IT went like such:
"Ohai, how're you?"
I find it hard to lie to a counsellor, by saying "good." But even when i do, he sees through it.
So i said "normal" i said it a couple times, near the end he told me to tell him what normal is, 'cause he has never heard of normal

He then told me what we're going to be doing (big fancy words for like, deep breathing, yoga, positive thinking pretty much)
Then started to talk about my anxiety, said it's high, but not that bad.
I then proseeded to spill my guts about Paul.
He asked if i ever reported him, etc.
I told him about Britt.
And asked if they knew she was worse than they thought, if she could be brought in earlier.
I then told him about her new problems.
He made a onte of it, and would bring it up.
He then asked me if i cut
i said no
he then asked if i have ever cut
i said yes, but it didn't do anything ofr me
we then talked about cat scratches.

What makes no sense, is that he only asked about cutting.
He's never asked about burning, or anything else.
Man, i nearly pull out my toe nails.
Which i guess, is kind of.. Unusual.
but i have since i was little.

Mom's Christmas present list:
Calendar
Chocolates
Moose gloves
and we're not sure what else to get her yet.

We're going to get Breanna a necklace and a ring or something.

I need to get a new tongue bar thing.
One with a flat top
the roof of my mouth isn't too happy with the ball.

I want some more piercings, too.

Oohhh so much to buy, and so little money.

I'm still sick.
Still dreading this time of year.
Boooooo.

Thirty Four; That time of year again.

As of Sunday it'll be six years since my dad has passed away.
I watched My Sister's Keeper today, nearly cried.
Reminded me of just how much i dad went through.

My mom yelled at my brother on like, what, Thursday?
Made me cry.
It was intense.
He got grounded, for the first time since like.. sixth grade? Yea?

I have a science exam tomorrow.
SO STOKED
lololol i crack myself up.

I'm sick
Dammit.

I.. painted my nails all Christmas-y
They're red, and then (With the nail polish my neighbour gave me, that's like only sparkles with no real colour to it) i have the sparkles on top. That are green.
Pretty rad.
I kinda screwed up, though. I'm missing spots.

I'm afraid Sam is suicidal, i don't we're as tight as we were, either.

Britt is scaring me.
Did i tell you guys about what happened?
How she was texting Sam about how she went to the doctor,
the doctor told her she needs to start eating or she's going to starve to death.
Which then made her say to Sam "Well that's the price to be skinny"
FUCKING HELL
i feel guilty, too.
We go to the same counselling building.
I got in
She's on a waiting list
man she needs this more than me
she's the one that could kill herself.
I mean, so could i, but she's.. Anorexic, she cuts, she's..
She just doesn't care anymore.

Did i mention my first counselling appointment is tomorrow?
I'm kinda.. scared.
Kinda.
It's with Scott, not sure if i told you guys that.
It's been awhile, and i've been meaning to post
So i can't remember if i've posted things, or if i was planning on post things.

COLDS CAN GO DIE NOW, KTHX
I'm so sore.
My neck/back/shoulders are killing me.

I'm still reading Pleasure Unbound.
Fucking good book, man.
Little like "the hell?" in the begining, but now i get it, and it's way better.

I'm excited for Christmas.
I want to make my mom a giant card.
GIANT.

Veronica's still pissed off with me.
Boohoo.

ANYWAY
yea umm
i don't think anything else is new?

OH WAIT
my uncle, the druggy one, yea him.
With the musical son? (Ivan Townsend, search it up boys and girls!)
Is going to be going to my aunty's and nana's on the 22nd!
I may be visiting too?
Maybe.
I don't know yet.

Yea, that's about it.
For now.

Goodnight my lovelies, i'm going to go take some cold medicine.
wait for my sister to get out of the shower.
Then i shall go shower.